Yups... I'm at uni... again.... Using the wireless...
Been studying Microbiology for one whole week. Until I want to muntah already. Still got 6 more modules to cover, and I only have about 2 weeks left. No wonder one of the MPharm trainee pharmacists who graduated from IMU said, "You are so lucky to have 4 years to study you know! Last time ah, we also like you lo, cram cram cram everything and then muntah everything out during exam time! Now you have more time to study, so study properly la!"
What? We're not studying properly now la is it? I study until I don't know what to say already. Well, maybe you can say my method of studying is not appropriate, but that's my way. When I really want to get something into my head, I have to concentrate really hard to understand it, then memorise it and then repeat it over to see if I remember it. That's why sometimes to finish going through one lecture of about 36-40 slides, I need at least 1 and a half hours. But usually I take 2 hours. T-T
Really takes time huh? Somemore, if I really tarak mood at that time, I just cannot get anything in at all. And most of the time, my concentration and mental alertness levels are low. T-T
Not for the first time (get the hint la, TIME), I'm thinking again, if I'm really suited for this profession. Well, I can't say as I did a few months back that I have no interest in the subjects (with the exception of Pharmaceutical Analysis - I feel like puking everytime I think about it). After this 3rd semester, I'm beginning to develop interest in some areas - am especially intrigued by renal system clinical case studies.
There's this constant thought I have. Why do people want to study pharmacy, or medicine? Is it really interest? I bet not more than 0.01% of that want is because of interest. :P *Please keep those clubs away. I'm allergic to violence.* There can be a lot of reasons one :
- Parents mia wish.
- I don't know what else to study. - L-A-M-E oh. A million other things for you to choose from.
- Kia-su. My friends all go Australia la, Russia la, UK la. I oso want to show people I can. Hmph.
- Aiyo... Everyone oso know ma, bekam lokter and itu farmasist can get many $$ one rite? Hentam jer la.
- Hmph... I know what loratidine is. You know meh? What? You think it's a new nintendo-what-what game? Aiyo... you go back to kindergarten la you. Tsk tsk tsk.
- Ceh... You think so easy to study dokter or farmasi meh? Have to attend PBL la, have to every day listen to lectures for 2 hours la, have to meet simulated patients la, have to memorise drug mia name la, use la, dosage la, side effects la, contraindication la, combination la... Very mafan one you know...
- Dapat glamer mah ho? People hear you study dokter, they also "Waaaahhh..."
- I want to help people. *shiny eyes full of semangat and hope* - Pi mati la.
*Please ah. I really allergic to violence one. Why are you looking at me lidat?*
For me, it's mostly number 1, 3 and 4. But from what I've found out, it seems to be number 5 and most of them show characteristics of number 6. Arrogance. I don't know how to put it, but you can always sense it floating about in IMU. No wonder they say doctors nowadays are just plain sombong.
I bet when I go out to work, I'll be so insecure with that half-bucket-full of knowledge I'm trying to get to, that I'll just be a shell going to my workplace every day and do whatever the people in charge ask me to do.
How I wish I can just fly over to the US, set out finding a cosy little shoplot, and set up my own zakka place.
In my dreams.
And I've come to despise the IMU authorities. During my first sem, I was totally awed by the superior appearance of the lecturers, staff and students. I thought no other uni could have had things running as smoothly as they did in IMU - good facilities, organised administration of new students, impressive interior settings, formidable lecturers.
Now, I'm beginning to see that IMU is just another $$-minded, glamour-seeking private uni. Good lecturers are being lured away to other unis, offering of course, higher salaries. Resitting exams are now only applicable for those willing to pay an extra RM400 per paper (why the hefty sum? You're not using the whole of TNB's electric supply nor pulling down one Borneo island of trees for paper are you?). And a recent happening.
A charity drive. I won't say anything further, lest they hunt me down for black-rubbing their name. All I can say is, I hope the quality of the education they have to offer does not waver in the years to come.