Monday, July 23, 2007

JSR #13 : Pucca Black (Meiji)

Price : RM4.90

Weight : 55g

Found : Isetan KLCC

As I would say of any dark chocolate snack, this puffy fish-shaped little biscuite, filled with dark chocolate, are just delightful. Crunchy and chocolatey.... that's the way I like my cookies! :D


Today, we had our first night performance of B1/07 (our juniors). It was a total BLAST! I love every moment of it!

Except the part when one of our grand seniors B1/04 (semester 7) went up and gave a short speech. He said that all the places they (the seniors) had went to for hospital attachments, the management people there and the people working there always gave the same response - "Oh, from IMU ah?".... and they sort of like ignore you or unwillingly work alongside you.

The point is, the local public, or the health field people, have the impression that IMU students are arrogant - never greet other people. Um... from what I see of the senior B1/05 (semester 5), there really are some high and mighties, mostly girls la.

But what the grand senior said, hit back home. I think I'm one of those people who never greet another person, unless he/she greets me first. I MUST make it clear first that it is not a matter of arrogance. I just have this super low self-esteem when it comes to communicating with people. I never dare to smile to other people if they don't do so first. I don't know why. And yeah, it's really BAD la. Especially, when you are going to be a pharmacist in just 3 years time.

The core problem with my hostility, I think, is I have a phobia for socialising, and this feeling that's always there that people may not like me. I'm constantly apprehensive of how people will react to what I say, what they'll think of me and all that. >>>>>SUPER SELF CONSCIOUS. D: Too much so that I'm afraid to communicate with people. D: I'm doomed. I mean, of course everyone has, to a degree, some self-consciousness ma. But I'm like having every second of it. T-T Not unfrequently, I hate myself for it.

I really want to change. I want to be with people. I pray.


Aneesah said...

Oh, I have the same problem too. I used to have such low self-esteem that it was even hard to look people in the eye when I talk to them! :o It's so embarrassing and bad, but I've learned to overcome this thing slightly. Basically just start with smiling. It's less of a task than saying Hi or starting a conversation, but immediately the other person will feel more welcomed and warm.

I always think in terms of other people whenever I'm unsure of how people will react. Say I'm afraid to tegur this person. Instead of not tegur-ing, I'd just think if it were me, and somebody else were to tegur or smile at me at that time and place, would I be happy or would I be taken aback and feel weird? Chances are I'll feel nice if somebody else tegured me, so the conclusion is -- just tegur that person. ^^

It takes small steps, but we can do it. Just take things more selamba-ly, 'cause once people get to know you they'll accept you how you are; hopefully no matter what your faults are, no matter how you look like, etc.

Sing Yee said...

Thanks Aneesah, for the advice and encouragement. :) I appreciate them very much.

Yeah, I think I really should start to relax myself a bit more la. *I also have a phobia of looking at people in the eye, and smiling at them* T.T And yeah, what you say is true. I would immediately warm up to a person if he/she smiled to me first - so I should be following the example lo. :)